


our angels are falling and they will warm us

by nowisthetimetocarrythebanner



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Freeverse poetry, I wrote this for an english class, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Overdose, Suicide, albert dasilva - Freeform, angel racetrack higgins, angsty suicidal albert dasilva, because i C A N, drug overdose, it's so fucking dark im sorry, racetrack higgins - Freeform, ralbert, ralbert angst, the author doesn't give a fuck about ur feelings, this is very angsty and self indulgent, trans albert too but i dont elaborate, you ever just make a poem only for urself? this is it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27936552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowisthetimetocarrythebanner/pseuds/nowisthetimetocarrythebanner
Summary: a ralbert angst fic!it's freeverse poetry bc you can't stop metw: suicide, death
Relationships: Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	our angels are falling and they will warm us

Do you ever wish  
For a soul made anew?  
At times, do you look up at the stars  
And see  
A dream made of wishes fresh?  
A new heart.  
The boy has.

The redhead boy with the gentle curls  
Shining eyes and trembling hands  
Long lashes blinking swift  
Concealing wild  
Crazed  
Eyes.  
Do you see him?  
I do.

He stares at the blank cold wall  
Nimble, numb fingers twitching.  
The bronze mane turned frizzy and manic with time,  
Hands running through  
Never ceasing.  
Funny, the passage of time.  
Soft auburn waves grazing ears  
Glowing in the afternoon sun  
Shifting shades  
Dimensions  
Twirling around the merry go round  
Grows to wiry rusty craze  
An overgrown autumn hedge.  
Truly is a funny thing, the passage of time.

Have you seen his smile?  
I have.  
Gleaming white teeth,  
tips sharp enough to  
Bite.  
Lips spread wide, a jack-o-lantern at night  
You could say they were tiger's jaws.  
But you would be wrong.  
The boy is not predator,  
But  
Prey.

Do you know what the boy dreams of at night?  
I do.  
He dreams of a place far away  
But right here  
He dreams of a new body  
And a new desire  
Sometimes the dreams you have  
Aren't the dreams you want.  
The boy can't remember the last time he laughed. I do.

A blond boy and a redhead boy side by side  
Linked elbows, swaying side to side  
Staggering and stumbling  
Drunk not on liquor, but on joy.  
That was only a summer ago.  
Funny, The passage of time.

The ginger boy wakes up from his dreams  
Remnants of a golden figure  
Tied to him through lanky arms  
They stumble side to side giggling uncontrollably,  
And such is how his dreams go.  
But the last traces of that memory disappeared  
When autumn came.

He gets out of bed  
Stares at the same wall of the same room.  
But he's not the same.  
Same as what?  
When?  
He doesn't know.  
Something's Wrong.  
A pull in his chest. A  
yank!  
That wasn't there before.  
A terribly enticing, alluring darkness  
It smiles at him from beyond

Beyond the hair falling in his still-sleepy eyes  
Beyond the pair of empty Nyquil bottles still dripping crimson  
Beyond the messily-painted bedroom walls  
Beyond the hazy three am sky  
Beyond the glistening stars starting to fade  
Beyond the glaring full moon  
Beyond anything he can see,  
An indescribable attraction to the unknown.

It felt like everything and nothing all at once.  
He was used to the insanity  
But the wonders and twists of this void were all too much.  
He had ventured down this path to this essence  
Walked for years.  
For a destination so soothing and complete  
The walk there was chaotic and crazed  
Bright lights  
Too bright.

Screaming and wailing  
An all-too-well feeling of being rushed  
Dragged to a new destination  
This new pull is the opposite of before.  
It's dreadful and painful and he wants to  
Get  
Out.

A room full of white figures in white shrouds  
Sharp weapons made to harm.  
He doesn't want to feel  
Screaming and shouting and thrashing  
A suffocating light washes over him  
Not a gentle wave but a tsunami  
Shuts his eyes tight  
Tries to vanish like he did before  
All too slowly he feels the intoxicating siren again

Desperation for the encasing warmth and dark  
Consumes the boy  
He gets lost in the darkness  
But who can get lost  
When you're already home?

Then  
A blinding white  
Stifled muttering  
Serious tones 

The boy can't move, can't scream  
Trapped in his own body  
This stupid body that isn't his own  
The boy knows torture now.  
It's this.  
He sees a family advance towards him  
But is it a family  
or is it foe?  
He can't tell.

Cold arms encompass him  
Wrapping him up until he can't remember the dark  
There's crying and happy tears  
But the boy doesn't know what happiness is.  
Soothing black faded into viscous gray  
Wisps of the moments he treasured from summers past  
A mother  
(?)  
sighing blinking tears  
Father  
(?)  
strangling the boy with muscled hugs  
The boy can't breathe.

A breath of air  
A gentle hand on his arm  
He looks through half-lidded teary eyes  
The blond boy's arm outstretched  
A different feel from the family  
(?)  
And this person is his home.  
Beyond the golden boy  
The familiar darkness  
And deep within  
A glowing light  
A golden light and a golden boy  
Gently take the redhead boy's hand  
And lead him beyond.

**Author's Note:**

> ok uh hope you enjoyed!  
> i wrote this in 45 minutes for an english class
> 
> side note i hate ao3 format
> 
> fuck formatting all my homies hate formatting
> 
> uh yeah! 
> 
> love u bye <3


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